Getting back on that horse.

I'm tempted to try to excuse my absence from the blog as being the consequence of a hectic holiday but, although the days leading up to Thanksgiving were full, I did not get out of my pajamas, or off the couch, on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. And I loved every minute of it- so I'm not apologizing for that. What I am sorry for is letting a nasty bout of self doubt keep me from posting on Monday and Tuesday. I've been feeling fat, old, frumpy, lumpy, unfashionable, icky, yucky, boring and stupid. It's not much fun. And it makes getting dressed next to impossible. I'm determined to push through this funk. I'm getting back on that horse that threw me and getting back in the race.

I've been looking at my wardrobe with an eye to having an end of year 'progress report' post that sums up how well I've done sticking to my New Year's resolution of getting rid of one thing every day and five things for every new thing. I'm pretty happy with how my edited wardrobe is starting to shape up. While I'm nowhere near achieving my goal of having only exceptional pieces, I can at least say that everything in my closet fits me and I feel good (if not great) wearing what I have hanging in there. This may not sound like a raging success to most people but, when you consider that before I began this editing process, dealing with my wardrobe was like an exercise in self torture, just being able to get dressed in the morning without feeling as if my clothes are mocking me for not being as slim, as young, and as daring as I once was really feels like a major victory to me. It's also the first time ever that I've even come close to keeping a resolution all year.

Truth be told, I am a bit behind in my discarding of items, but I got all the way to November before the process become really difficult. And up until around August it was so effortless that it was a little embarrassing how easy it was to part with the crap I had been holding onto for years without even a second thought. Why had I held onto things that were so obviously crap for so long? Why had I ever even thought I wanted them in the first place?

By the end of the year my goal is to have worn every item from my current wardrobe here on the blog. If I can't make an outfit I'm happy with out of a piece that's hanging in my wardrobe now, then it doesn't need to be there. The jacket I'm wearing today is one of the pieces I don't think I've taken pictures of before.

There's a lot going on with this jacket- polka dots, border print, puffed sleeves, portrait neckline and a bow- therefore I think it would be worn to it's best advantage over a solid black base. I went with grey tights and skirt today because I don't own a straight black skirt. (I know, this seems crazy to me too, but it's true. I'm adding it to my list of things I need.) This jacket is another piece of clothing that I think looks great from the front and only so-so from the side. From the front it seems to flatter my curves and trim my waist, but from the side I appear disturbingly barrel chested and matronly.  I've made it a point to always try to post a side view photo of an outfit, even in cases where doing so has been acutely painful, because I want to get (and give) a fairly honest impression of what I look like in the real, multidimensional, world. I was kind of hoping that the reason I thought I looked terrible from the side was just that I was unused to seeing myself from that angle, and when I became more comfortable with seeing myself this way it wouldn't look as awful to me. No such luck.

I'm not sure what the remedy might be. Better fitting clothes? Better posture? Losing weight? All of the above?  I'm sure none of these improvements would hurt my front view either.

I haven't worn these shoes in a while so I pulled them out today as part of my effort to feature all my current clothes on the blog by the end of the year. Once I started walking around in them I remembered why they had fallen out of my favor in the first place. The sole has become detached from the toe of one of the shoes. Not a lot. Not enough that you notice when you put the shoes on. It's just when you start to walk at a reasonable clip (i.e. when you really need to get somewhere without being impeded by the flapping sole of your shoe) that it becomes noticeable.  They will need to be repaired before going back into the closet.  Which brings me to what is going to be one of my resolutions for next year: I am going to resolve to take care of (at least) one repair, alteration, fix, upgrade, up-cycle, re-style, re-fashion, what have you, every week.  Those pants I've been meaning to hem, that coat that wants the buttons replaced, the shoulder straps I've been wanting to shorten, the skirt that needs to be taken in, the shoes that should be resoled- it's all going to get done, finally. Next year.

Or I might get inspired and start early.

...and you lose some.

I bought this ultra plain black dress on Monday, part of a small shopping spree to bolster my professional wardrobe. It seemed like a smart, practical choice at the time, but today I kind of hate it.

I imagined it being the kind of comfortable, easy to wear basic that could be jazzed up by the judicious use of accessories.  Today I couldn't figure out what I could wear with it to make it look less like a boring black sack on me. I thought this combination of green boots, purple sweater, and brown belt was okay- not stellar, but okay- and then I saw my side view photos!  In every single one the draped cowl neckline juts out like a ridiculous fabric beak above my breasts. I am so irritated I could spit.  Could I not have identified this problem in the fitting room? Would that have been too much to ask?

Add to this situation a bunch of crappy, grainy, low light photos and you can see why I'm going to try and pretend today never happened. We tried taking photos downstairs, hoping there would be more light. There wasn't- and the odd perspective is making me look like an alcoholic giantess dwarfing our bar. I'm just going to put today's outfit behind me and hope for more success (and better light) tomorrow.  I know I'm supposed to be trying to analyze what went wrong and what to do differently in the future, but frankly, I'm too disappointed and too pissed off. And I suspect that the answer may be to just never wear this dress again. Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Introducing...teeny blue enamel leaf earrings.

This additional *inherited* jewelry post was unexpected. I thought that I had already featured all of the jewelry I could wear without alteration, but while I was organizing the rest of the things I received I found these cuties.  How'd I miss them?  When I picked these up I didn't think I could wear earrings anymore because of the large holes in my ears. But it turns out having big holes in your ears is perfectly adaptive for wearing clip-on earrings. Having no actual ear in the pinchy-est part of the earrings almost completely alleviates their usually migraine inducing tightness. And- bonus- they seem much more secure than I remember them feeling on my unstretched ears. This realization practically has me dancing with joy. Suddenly, I'm dreaming of a world of gorgeous vintage clip-on earrings just waiting to be mine!

The weather has not been cooperative with my outfit photo efforts. These pictures were taken at a reasonable hour in natural light and still they're blurry. At least I don't feel like it's my fault this time.

This I what I wore today to make an epic three store shopping trip to get everything we need for our Thanksgiving feast. I wore pretty much the same outfit last night (different shirt, no hat) to see Bye Bye Birdie at the Davis Musical Theater. Normally I seize any opportunity to dress up for an evening out, even community theater, even though ours is a very casual community. It was raining and cold and I just couldn't work up the enthusiasm for anything fancier than jeans and boots. Turns out this was a good thing- it was so cold in the theater I never took my coat off.

Red, white and blue.

This is what I wore for a tough day online resume submissions. I swear these sites are designed to make an applicant feel so incompetent she's ashamed to have made any claims to computer proficiency on her resume! I spent so long agonizing over the cover letter touting my excellent time management skills that I was timed out of the application process and had to begin again. At which time, this seasoned manager who is able to adapt easily to the changing needs of business, and handle high levels of pressure with decorum and aplomb, began screaming at her husband for not being helpful enough. Luckily, he is not one of my references.

This necklace is reputed to be made of ancient Roman glass. Years ago I worked for The Museum Company and we sold lots of this iridescent glass jewelry. The story goes that the glass was recovered from a cache of discarded glass near the site of a glass factory believed to have been in operation in Israel during the holy roman empire. So, this piece of glass would have been, basically, trash. The substandard glass pieces created at the factory would have been tossed on the refuse pile, buried for centuries, excavated, refashioned into jewelry, and sold at the mall. I have no reason to disbelieve this chain of events; I told this tale to customers myself, hundreds of times. I'm not saying it isn't true, either. I've just become a bit more skeptical of the claims made by retailers than I once was. Whatever the truth is, this is a pretty, glittery, shimmering piece of glass- I don't really care what it is beyond that.

Possibly ancient glass and silver.

The five dollar blue patent flats make their blog debut.

If only I were a comic book character...

I wouldn't even have to be a super hero. Just so long as I was only visible in two dimensions. Okay, I'd never really wish to actually be two dimensional. I celebrate my many dimensions and multifaceted personality. However, I can not celebrate my profile view in today's outfit.  I'm working from home today so I tried to see if I could style this dress in a way that made it seem less sweet and girly. This is a dress which typically earns me compliments whenever I wear it, and it's stayed in my closet because of this, but it also never quite feels like me.

Today I tried to toughen it up a little with orange fishnets, platform sandals and a thrifted brown leather man's belt. I'm calling it a qualified success. I do think that the accessories work to create an overall look that is a better fit for me, but there's no getting around the fact that the dress itself is just too small for me at the moment. Even wearing spanx, which I normally wouldn't do during the day, and standing up as straight as I possibly can, my stomach sticks out more than I'd like. And if I relax and let it all hang out it's much, much worse.

Tummy trouble!

What you can't see in these photographs is the copious bulging back fat. I saw it in the mirror so I assure you, it's there. I think spanx tend to exacerbate the lumpy back problem if one's not careful. And I have no desire to maintain constant vigilance over escaping back fat.

I have such trouble with spanx. I'm willing to admit that they do help in some ways, but they seriously let me down in others. I'm pragmatic- I do realize that there's only so much one can expect shape wear to accomplish. It's just that I'm not sure that the results are worth the trouble.  It's not only the wayward back fat issue, there's the epic struggle to get them on in the first place. If I spent the ten minutes I would have to take to squeeze myself into spanx every morning doing crunches I wouldn't need the spanx at all. If I wore them everyday, which I don't, precisely because they are so difficult to get into.

The last time I purchased a new pair of spanx the salesperson told me quite seriously that I needed to put them on by stepping into them. I still can't imagine what method she thought I might employ to get into them if she hadn't offered me this advice. Suspend them on a hook and take a running jump with both feet? Dive into them head first like a circus performer from a high dive platform into a tiny pail of water?

I will make the effort to step into my spanx (gently, one leg at a time) for special occasions but those times are not always completely problem free.  Special occasions for me often feature celebratory beverages, and while it's one thing to spend ten minutes struggling into a foundation garment in the comfort of your own home, it's another to find yourself trying to do so tipsy, wobbling on your high heels, in the narrow stall of some public bathroom.  Oh, I know they have that open crotch thing, but it is very psychologically difficult to urinate while you still feel like you have your pants on, and if you can drunk pee in a bar bathroom while holding your spanx open and not piss on your hand or your spanx, then my hat is off to you- you're a better woman than I!

Please focus your attention on the pretty amber ring and not the lipstick on my teeth.

In any case, even with spanx, this isn't a dress I'd be comfortable wearing in public right now. I'm much happier with the way I styled it today than I was the last time I wore it, so I won't get rid of it. But I am going to take it out of my regular closet and store it until a later date.

Spotted!

Some bloggers can frolic in photos and not look lame. Not me, but I try!

This sweet black and white polka dot scarf was a recent gift from a dear friend. (Hi, Carolyn!) I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with scarves. I admire them on bloggers and street-stylers from around the globe and on stylish ladies in the flesh, closer to home. Is it possible that there's another way to add as much panache to an otherwise ordinary outfit as with an artfully arranged scarf? I think not. They are relatively inexpensive, (for the most part- and yes, I do covet some of the exceptions,) often practical, fun, and present no pesky fit issues. And yet, I still have trouble wearing them.

Being the kind of person who thinks spending large amounts of time analyzing all things appearance related is time well spent, I dedicated myself to seeing if I couldn't isolate what my personal issues around scarf wearing are. This is what I came up with:
 
Scarves can fill up the space between my shoulders and my head too much. I have a fairly small head, a weak chin, and not a lot of hair. In spite of the weakness of my jawline my neck is actually reasonably long and slim looking. Too much scarf volume in this area can completely obscure this positive feature and make me look like a chinless, neckless wonder. Too large a scarf and I feel as if I look like a nervous turtle about to draw my tiny head in and hide.

The interaction between scarves and my chest can be problematic. I've got enough visual bulk in the chest area already. Heaping great swaths of scarf on top of it doesn't help. And I can not abide a longer scarf that falls over my chest leaving its fringed ends dangling in midair several inches from my body.

Perhaps still a little turtle-like from the side? Do you see it too?

So, I think what I've done here works pretty well. The scarf is nicely away from my neck and the fringed ends are at the back of my neck and not hanging off my boobs. The polka dots jazz up what would otherwise be a tepid jeans/T-shirt/cardigan combination. And I get the satisfaction of feeling that I conquered one of my fashion demons. Even if it took no less than a dozen tries to come up with this.

What happened to my new jeans, you may be wondering? (If you weren't you are now, ha!)  Well, they are too small, dammit!  I did try them on, but I was wearing tights at the time. They seemed like they would fit without the tights, and they were stretchy, so I bought them. I historically have a very hard time making the right pant size decision.
Case in point #1: I bought an ex-treme-ly tight pair of bright red jeans on the recommendation of a sales girl who warned me that- "premium denim stretches a lot; you have to buy the smallest size you can get into." I wore those ass hugging red jeans eight times without washing them and they did not stretch one bit.
Case in point #2: I did not listen to the sales girl who told me that my linen pants would grow with wearing because I thought- "young lady, you don't know what you're freakin' talking about. These pants are practically crawling up my backside already, a smaller size would be obscene." Yep, you guessed it- five minutes of sitting down and I practically had to hold up my pants when I stood up again. Turns out she knew exactly what she was freakin' talking about.
Now, when I wore the (in my opinion, too tight) jeans from the first example I got a ton of compliments, and not just from creeps either. So I thought- "maybe I need to start buying pants that fit a bit more snugly; maybe I'm like one of those people on What Not to Wear who think things are too tight when they actually fit." And now I'm the proud owner of more pants that are too small for me. I'm storing them and hoping that my recent re-commitment to healthy eating will mean I can wear them soon.

Introducing... the pearl bar pin.

Finally, the last piece of *inherited* jewelry makes an appearance:

It took a while for me to figure out how I could wear a piece this delicate and sweet in a way that still felt like my style.  I'm pleased to say that I've managed to find a way to wear all of the unaltered family heirloom jewelry I brought home, with the exception of one piece, which I am returning to my mother.  I still have several additional pieces that I'm planning on reworking to make them more wearable. I'm hoping to get them up on the blog, with before and after photos, as soon as the reworking is accomplished. Stay tuned, but don't hold your breath. I'm a busy lady lately.

The angle of this shot resulted in a bit more revealing shot than I anticipated.

This is also the first outing of the vintage skirt Chris found for me in a Phoenix thrift store. I was shooting for an English country house in the thirties kind of effect- sort of a Mitford sister at home on the family estate look. I'm happy with the result, but I do worry that I'm a bit thickly built for this look. I don't want to cross over into Queen-Elizabeth-out-walking-her-corgis territory. Although, now that I think about it, I really liked most of the outfits that Helen Mirren wore in The Queen, so perhaps I wouldn't mind as much as I thought I would.

See? It's a very respectable outfit, really.

I felt wonderfully feminine in this skirt today- like some classic film heartthrob's girl Friday; the sweet, hard working girl whose charms are easily appreciated once the glamorous femme fatale has been eliminated.

I was desperate to own these shoes when I bought them but have yet to get through a whole day wearing them. I always have to carry an alternate, more comfortable, pair.  I love their sturdy, practical, vintagey look but they are so stiff I am beginning to despair of ever breaking them in.

The fine line between ridiculous and fabulous.

I can't decide if these gumball sized sixties clip-on earrings are ridiculous or fabulous. In the past three weeks I've put them on and removed them at least twenty times.  That's not counting the three or four times today. It's only sheer force of will that's keeping them on my ears now because I'm just not sure. The line between ridiculous and fabulous can be razor fine, and I'm constantly in fear of slipping to the wrong side.

I've forced myself to wear these today in keeping with the spirit of Visible Monday.  Being visible- being noticed- means accepting the possibility that everyone may not like what they see.  And that can be awfully tough for me to do.

You see, I think these baubles are something I'd be likely to admire on someone else. But I also think that they're something that 98% of the world would see and think- "those are some earrings you've got there, lady!" (You've got to imagine those words dripping with sarcasm.)  Now, I know that the people I imagine are thinking these nasty things are probably not wearing anything I would, in a million years, want to wear, but somehow I still want these imaginary nasty people to think I look great. Why, I wonder?  Why would I care what they think of me if I don't think much of them?

Since I'm pretty sure I can't have it both ways- some people are always going to find my 'fabulous' ridiculous- and since the alternative would be never trying for fabulous and just playing it safe, I think I'd rather risk looking ridiculous in the hope that the two percent of folks out there whose style I covet think I look interesting.  However, this is often easier said than done.  Especially now as I'm getting older. Standing out feels like inviting criticism.  Catching someone's eye means opening myself up to the possibility that they'll see me and think I'm too old, or too fat, or too kooky, or just trying too hard. Ouch! Some days that possibility is more than I can handle. Other days I can manage to say- "Everyone else be damned; I'm dressing for myself." And for the two percent of super stylish folks who think I look fabulous- that's you guys, right?

I must admit that blogging certainly helps.  It's not only provided me with a reason for challenging myself and a forum in which to do so, but it's given me an opportunity to see myself in a more gestalt way.  Looking at these photos I realize that these earrings I've been kind of obsessing about aren't as over the top as I imagined them to be when I was looking in the mirror. Go figure.

I'm not doing that again!

The title of this post was originally intended to refer to the vow I've made not the post pictures of clothes unless I'm actually wearing them. Sadly, now it may also make reference the fact that I left the taking of these photos way too late, and they SUCK. The combination of early dark and more than the usual number of failed outfits left me at the mercy of artificial lights and flash. Will try not to do that again either. 

In the early, early days of this blog I imagined my *Thrift Haul* posts as a regular feature. I had yesterday's post all written and ready to go before taking the photos. While taking pictures for the post I realized that a post dedicated to showing clothes on hangers was completely counter to what I want for the blog.

In the first place, it couldn't be more boring.  Even the most beautiful, interesting, crave-worthy garments in the world need a body to bring them to life. (And who am I kidding? Nothing I own fits that description.) Secondly, it was always my intention to exhibit what I wore, not what I bought. To my mind, style isn't about shopping as much as it about mixing and combining and juxtaposing disparate elements to create something that becomes more than the sum of it's parts. It's not about having a closet full of things. It's about the interaction of those things with each other, with the body, and with the world at large. Sure, shopping fills the well, so to speak, but you don't get to call yourself an artist just because you bought a box of paints. And it's artistry I aspire to. Maybe I won't ever achieve virtuoso level, but practice certainly improves proficiency, even if it doesn't result in perfection. Practicing style means actually wearing clothes, not simply buying them.

That said, I'm only going to post clothing I'm wearing from here on out. I'm going to try harder to sharpen my skills as a self stylist. No more lazy look-at-what-I-got posts. Unless I'm actually wearing what I got. Today I took yesterday's black and white knit dress and serious black pumps out for a spin.

Thrift Haul

I allowed myself a thrift store splurge on Thursday, using the excuse that I needed to start building up a wardrobe of interview outfits. And, to my credit, I did get a couple of interview worthy items in this thrift haul.

Serious black pumps:

These have a nice, reasonable, heel height for interviews. Not so high that I'll be struggling to walk, but high enough to nicely elongate my leg line. They work well with black tights, and they are comfortable enough to wear all day, provided one's day doesn't involve a great deal of standing or walking. These are office shoes, not retail shoes.

Black and blue knit dress:

Buoyed by my more successful second attempt at styling my thrifted wrap dress I gave this faux wrap a try. I really like this print and this dress has much more fullness in the skirt than the feather print wrap dress. The top of this dress might be a bit big for me. (That almost never happens!) I might have to take it in a little but I'm going to reserve my judgement on this until I try it with a substantial belt, instead of the wimpy, narrow, self fabric tie that came with the dress.

Black and cream silk blouse:

I love love love this print. The blouse is the slightest bit tight in the chest area and the top button pulls open a little. I bought it anyway because, did I mention that I love love love this print? So, either I'm going to get back on the healthy choices wagon and slim down, or I'm going to try a more minimizing bra, or I'm going to end up giving it to someone else. Heck, it was only four dollars. Just thinking about wearing it is almost worth the price. No, really, I'll be sad if I can't wear it, but I think it's definitely a risk worth taking.

Jellybean print silk blouse:

I actually saw this print more as squashed circles until I brought it home and Chris remarked- "Jellybeans, nice."  Now jellybeans are all I can see. This blouse fits well in the bust and therefore the shoulders are too big.  Since this is a problem I generally expect to experience with any blouse that wasn't made expressly for me I thought my first attempt at making the shoulder alteration which would result in a blouse that fits me should be performed on a garment that I wouldn't be sick over ruining. Just in case. This is that garment.

Black and white knit dress:

This one is not work appropriate. I picked this up to provide an alternative option for this dress. It has many of the same qualities: wash and wear, easy to pull on, travels well. Not spectacular, but serviceable and useful.

Shiny blue flats:

I have a thing for colored flats. I do already own a pair of navy patent flats, but these have silver buckles, and they were five bucks. I don't think much more explanation is necessary.

High waist-ed trouser-ish jeans:

I've been wanting a trouser style jean for a while. These sort of fit the bill. The denim fabric of these jeans is quite thick and rather stretchy, a quality which is unlike what I would normally associate with a trouser jean, but the high waist and full, straight leg are exactly what I was imagining. They will provide a welcome and practical alternative to the jeans I have been wearing almost constantly of late.

Striped sailor pants:

I'm a sucker for pants with this button detail. And stripes of any stripe. As an added bonus, since these stripes are vertical, they are possibly somewhat slimming.

An interesting (to me, at least) end note: it suddenly seems that in order to find the things I want at the thrift store I simply have to utter the magic words- "I never find said item at the thrift store." This magic has worked recently, first on jeans and now on blouses. It's making me wonder if I shouldn't start complaining about how I never find diamond bracelets at the thrift store. More realistically, I guess it should prove to me that I shouldn't rule anything out; I should just keep looking.

A bit boring, perhaps?

This is what I wore today to apply for a part-time retail job that I don't really want:

I'm also applying for actual career-type positions, but I'm hedging my bets by looking at retail as a stop gap until I find my dream job. I have about twenty years of retail experience from part-time sales to entry level regional management, so I'm probably vastly overqualified for the type of thing I applied for today.  I have a bachelors degree in apparel merchandising, but I don't want a lengthy commute, so my local apparel and fashion related options are somewhat limited.

What am I looking at? I'm setting my sights high!

It can be incredibly demoralizing looking for a job, even one for which you're overqualified. I haven't had to go through this for a while, and the last time I did the economic outlook was not nearly as grim. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to this process much, but I'm determined not to let it get me down. (Famous last words?)

I might have mentioned how much I dislike the side shots. Not flattering.

I'm counting on having the excuse to purchase interview outfits to cheer me up. And the thought of once again having a job that requires some level of dressing up is exciting too.

Bruno coordinates well with my outfit today, no?

Introducing...the sliver sweater clip.

I'm coming to the end of this series featuring my *inherited* jewelry. I have just one more piece to feature after today. There are other things, but those are things I'm considering having reset, or restrung, or changing in some way to better fit my style. These last few pieces have been more challenging than the first things I wore.  I tried and tried to get this sweater clip worn and on the blog earlier but I never liked it on any outfit with which I pared it- until now.

I think the idea of a contraption like this was that it would keep your sweater from slipping off when you had it gracefully slung about your shoulders, rather than actually having your arms in the sleeves. I think that would drive me crazy so in this outfit the clip is merely decorative and not practical. There is no need to fear that this tiny sweater is going to slip away- I have to struggle in and out of it. It's an extra-small, and I'm most definitely not, but I like the shrunken effect for layering purposes.

It looks like I was right to be wary of owning jeans again. I seem to wear these all the time now. I'll use the excuse that it's getting cold but if I'm honest their frequent appearance here is due more to laziness than temperature. Jeans are just too easy.

These new black patent and tobacco colored flats are making me want a nice trim pair of black slacks. How can it be that I don't own a pair of basic black pants? Actually, I probably do own a couple pairs that don't fit me and are stored away for the time being. But that doesn't do me any good at all right now. Once again I've acquired new shoes and let a practical wardrobe need stay unfilled. It's hard for me to be sensible where cute shoes are concerned.

Chris bought these for me this weekend. I'm not trying to diminish the sweetness of this gesture but I'm sure that their being flats had something to do with his generosity. Chris never misses an opportunity to point out the folly of my many impractical shoe choices as I am hobbling down the street after him in four inch heels. I suspect Chris is trying to reward my sensible choice in order to reinforce the behavior.

The ring is an eBay purchase. Silver, wood, and tiger's eye. I love the silver and wood together. Almost all of the furniture in our home is this same dark wood and silver metal combination. Viewed from the top (as above) this ring looks like a fried egg. In profile it looks more like a nipple. The tiger's eye stone protrudes quite a bit. I refer to this as the fried egg ring- because a nipple ring is a different animal entirely.

Adorable, right? Who needs pants? Okay, I do. But these are too cute.