Visible Monday

I am participating in Visible Monday, hosted by Patti at Not Dead Yet Style. And finally debuting my new spectator cloche from Wayne Wichern. A hat always makes me feel visible in the best possible sense of the word. I feel positively impossible to overlook in this hat.

Planning this post has lead me to give a lot of thought to my own experience of aging and the changes it has brought regarding how I'm perceived by the the world at large, and how I see myself. The Visible Monday project was created to help redress the loss of visibility and esteem that seem to inevitably accompany the aging process when you are female. (Kudos, Patti, and more power to you!)

"Common wisdom holds that at a certain age, women no longer garner the attention of men in public. We are still loved by our husbands and partners, and told we are beautiful, but the world at large no longer sees us as noteworthy."
The Invisible Woman, Patti @ Not Dead Yet Style. (Click here for the whole post.)

While I realize that, at forty-one, I'm only beginning to experience the effects of this pernicious phenomenon, I have to say that I'm finding my own decreased visibility very liberating. Perhaps I'll have changed my tune by the time I'm fifty, but right now I'm happy to have traded some of the unwelcome attention I used to receive for a few wrinkles and a couple of extra pounds. You've heard the crude expression about your mouth writing checks your ass can't cash? Well, for much of my life I felt trapped in a bizarre reversal of that phrase, with my body projecting completely fraudulent messages about my intentions and expectations, promising things I would never, ever, deliver.

I was once told by a gay male friend that my body was wasted on me. And maybe it was, because I certainly never enjoyed the ogling, or the not particularly complimentary compliments, or the sleazy propositions. I got a lot of them. And I wasn't especially attractive either. I just happened to have a large chest and a small waist and longish legs. And if I chose to wear anything that didn't completely obscure this then I had to be prepared to deal with a certain amount of ridiculous behavior. And, frankly, I didn't want to deal with any of it. So I mostly hid.

As a teenager I hid in enormous sweaters and punky haircuts. In my twenties, in quirky vintage clothing. In my thirties I attempted an arty layered look that just made me look fat when I wasn't. But fat seemed preferable to sexy, and it did the job of curtailing most of the leering.

Getting older has meant that I can come out of hiding. I can wear something that flatters my shape without feeling like I'm asking for trouble. Sure, my shape has changed quite a bit too. I have mixed feelings about that. But, over all, I'm much more comfortable being able to *dial up* my visibility when, and if, I choose to do so, than feeling constantly over exposed, as I did when I was younger.

I'm pleased that visibility as an *older* woman seems to have much more to do with style than with sex. I'm pretty happy with that trade off.

Introducing...the silver filigree leaf pin.

I wouldn't ordinarily wear a pin just slapped on a hat like this. Attempting to feature all of this jewelry on the blog is causing me to try things I wouldn't have otherwise considered. This placement of this pin seemed to appear rather contrived no matter where I tried to put it on this outfit. Left with the choice of appearing contrived with a pin on my chest or contrived with a pin on my shoulder, I decided that I'd prefer contrived and slightly unexpected than contrived with a pin in an absolutely ordinary location. For better or worse, my boundaries are being pushed slightly by blogging. While I can't say that I think this particular pin and hat combination is a run away success style-wise, I do believe that any expansion of one's boundaries is a good thing.

I'm completely without make-up in the above photo. Unless you count the smudges of yesterday's mascara under my eyes. Why am I posting this photo? Because my chin looks really long. Everyone has something they're obsessed about. This is my thing. I'd kill for a jutting, prominent jaw line. I think I have a terribly weak chin. The only cosmetic surgery I've ever given serious consideration to a chin implant. I adore how my chin looks in this photo so I'm sharing it with you, even though this is an otherwise terrible picture of me. 

 

This cotton beret is the hat I usually jam over my hair when I have to go somewhere and I don't have time to take a shower. As is the case today. I'm feeling quite proud of myself for posting pictures of my un-showered, un-made-up self. This is what running late looks like, people.

Chris called this look "very 'movie' French." Gotta love that man!

Doesn't this look like I'm gazing affectionately at my very prominent love-handle?

Introducing...the silver feather/leaf pin.

Worn today as a pendant:

I think of this pin as a leaf, but today I decided it was abstract enough to read as a feather when paired with the feather print of this wrap dress. I tried the pin in several different orientations on the dress, and on the tank, without success. I was already fully dressed so I was pretty committed to making the dress and the pin work together, thereby sticking to my goal of posting all my newly acquired jewelry while not having to get dressed all over again, just to post this pin today. My thought process went something like this- "It needs to be up high or it looks silly, and not on the patterned fabric or it gets lost. It's too bad I can't pin it to my neck...(looks at pin held against neck)...ah-ha!...necklace!?" Now the pin is suspended on a silver chain, and accomplishes the dual purpose of being the focus of this post and making me feel quite creative and resourceful besides.

I decided to give this wrap dress another try today, after being seriously disappointed by it the first time I wore it. (You can see it here for comparison.) I think this is a big improvement. Of the many things I've learned from this blog (and [note to self] I really should be keeping better track of those lessons) one of the best is this: A self fabric belt never, ever, does the dress it came with, or you, any favors.

I've also pushed up the sleeves here, to about three quarter length, and I think I prefer this length to the long sleeve. I'm still on the fence about making this alteration. Mostly because it isn't often that I find dresses that have long sleeves so it seems a shame to 'waste' this one. I'll have to wear it one more time with the long sleeve before I make my final decision.

I've been searching for years for an upgrade for these boots. These were purchased against my better judgement, and under significant pressure from the friend with whom I was shopping. They are constructed of a leather-like material bonded to a stretch knit fabric. I thought at the time of their purchase that they were far too 'hollywood hooker' for my taste. (I mean 'hollywood' in the sense of the movie industry dream machine, not the geographic location. These boots look to me like a costume designer's conception of what a sex-worker would wear. Even with my limited experience I know that most of the women who sell sex do not look anything like this.)

I bought the boots, in spite of my qualms, because they were deeply discounted and my friend was loudly singing their praises. And they've turned out to be marvelously practical. I've worn them with slim skirts that cover the knees. I've also worn them with evening dresses that have a narrow silhouette- they can somehow take the edge off (or maybe give an edge to) a dress that might be a bit too fancy for just dinner, otherwise. As long as the skirt or dress covers the knee, and the tops of the boots don't show, the effect is actually more dance teacher than dominatrix, in my opinion.

I'd love to trade up to a pair of boots almost exactly like these. Something of better quality, and with a less pointy toe, but otherwise the same. The same slim fit in the foot and leg. The same only  moderately high, but still slender, heel. The same unadorned style. It's proven an impossible dream so far, but I keep searching.

Introducing...the Norwegian silver pendant.

Affectionately known as the 'Indiana Jones necklace.'

Even though this pendant doesn't actually look much like the staff of Ra headpiece from Raider's of the Lost Ark there's something vaguely Egyptian about its styling, and its large circular shape and scarab-like center stone made Chris and me both immediately think of Indy.

Image from here.

Of all of the jewelry I recently 'inherited' this is probably the piece with the most actual value. (I can't claim to be a jewelry expert but I did search the maker online and found an identical piece on eBay.) As near as I can tell (again, no expert) this necklace was designed for David-Anderson by an artist named Bjørn Sigurd Østern in the early sixties. This particular design is a stylized representation of Viking long boat. (Not at all Egyptian, which was my original, uneducated impression.) I like A LOT of the other things by this guy that I've seen online- I feel another collection coming on. Apparently this designer also created some famous pendants representing Thor's hammer. I think it would be neat to own one of those, since my new (married) last name is Thordsen.

Here are the markings on the back, for those with an interest in such things.

This is certainly my most favorite piece of the 'inheritance.' I shortened the chain considerably but I think it needs to be just a tiny bit shorter still. I wanted to err on the side of caution since it's hard to add length again without getting a new chain altogether. I've worn the pendant a few times at this length and now I'm sure that I want it to be shorter. And I did try to wear this piece with the chain at its original length. I think it's important to try to preserve the integrity of vintage pieces, if at all possible. But it's really hard for me to wear longer necklaces. They tend to hang off of the fullest part of my chest like they're being dangled off a cliff. It feels annoying and it looks ridiculous in profile.

I initially thought that the central stone in the pendant was turquoise but it turns out that it is likely something called amazonite. I've never been a fan of turquoise (or amazonite for that matter.) I'm not sure why I don't appreciate turquoise. Even I think it seems like I should, given how much I love wearing blue-green, teal, and aquamarine. And turquoise is almost always set in silver- by rights I should adore it.

I think one of the things that turn me off of turquoise, in spite of its color, is the natural veining and irregularity of the stone. I'm the same way about heathering in knitwear. I know that yarns with slight color variations are supposed to enhance the appearance of softness and depth in knits but I prefer the look of true solid color knits. Heathering seems more casual, less sophisticated. More sophistication is what I'm after. I feel the same way about turquoise. And turquoise jewelry very often has Southwestern styling, which doesn't appeal to me at all.

This cashmere cardigan features some of the heathering I've just been vociferously maligning. It's pretty subtle. Impossible to see in photographs. Almost invisible in real life. I really wanted a light blue cardigan so I ordered this hoping that the heathering wouldn't be too obvious, even though the color was called "aqua heather."

Introducing...a trio of silver pins.

Truly, this post is chock full of accessories you haven't seen before. The actual outfit is one that I've returned to, and blogged, a number of times. Perhaps a dynamic pose will help to make it appear different?

Individually the round silver pins I'm wearing today are slightly on the small side for my taste and my frame. I've worn the spirally one a couple of times on its own already, and thought it was fine, but nothing special. It was underwhelming. Jewelry should never be underwhelming. (How sad. Especially when, as is the case here, it has sentimental significance.)  I think the effect of the group is much more eye-catching and better suited to my stature. I'm probably going to think of them as sort of a set from now on.

You can just see my first attempt at wearing earrings. Tiny grey pearls from the Cook Islands, a gift from my father, years ago now. I've always wanted to wear them. I have rather an affinity for pearls. Not only is the Latin root of my name the same as the word for pearl, I feel that way pearls are created can be interpreted as a metaphor for overcoming adversity in creative and beautiful ways. These don't really have the presence and drama I was imagining when I said I was going to start wearing earrings again but I am trying. Even baby steps are steps in the right direction. And this might be the first time I've made a proclamation about something I was going to do here on the blog and then actually followed through with evidence of it.

The hat is another Wayne Wichern cloche. This one I got last year. I'd sort of forgotten about his hat when I said I wanted to order this hat in khaki:

At the Wayne Wichern trunk show at Fino Fino. Full post here.

That would result in two remarkably similar hats. So now I have to decide what other color I'd like to own this hat in eventually. And it might actually be this dusty rose color which I generally detest on principle but which I have to admit makes my skin look kind of gorgeous. Would a contrasting navy bow/band help to mitigate the inherent insipidness of dusty rose? (Feel free to comment)

When I bought this hat it didn't have a name/price tag yet and Carolyn (Fino Fino's delightful proprietor and my very good friend) called Wayne to inquire as what to call it and what to charge. Wayne told her she could call it the 'Margaret' cloche and that's what is written on my receipt. Probably that is not the official name of this hat but it's how I continue to think of it.

I've always referred to the color of these purple-y brown-ish red shoes as oxblood. I'm not sure that's accurate but I was obsessed with the slightly morbid sounding color name when I was a teenager. So much more evocative than cordovan, don't you agree? I have now decided that henceforth this color shall be known as Red Velvet Cupcake, because I had one for lunch today and I swear it coordinated perfectly with my shoes!

Introducing...the articulated enamel necklace.

This is part of a set, actually.

There are matching screw-back earrings which I can't wear because of the enlarged holes in my ears. I love my eyelets, but I do miss wearing earrings. If I'm honest, I have to admit that I probably wouldn't wear this necklace and matching earrings together anyway, but on occasion, having the option of wearing earrings might be fun. And shouldn't one of the benefits of having super short hair be showing off awesome earrings?

The seriously adorable Becky of Becky Lee Dreams manages to make all kinds of earrings work with stretched earlobes- in fact she even has a tutorial for this on her blog. I need to start wearing earrings again. If there's one thing I won't stand for it's a self imposed fashion limitation. Expect to see earrings here soon.

I've worn this dress, in pretty much exactly the same way, a couple of times already. I chose to wear it again today because, of all the things I own, it makes me feel like a fashion blogger. This was important because I was a guest lecturer in a textiles class- talking about "Fashion Subjectivity and New Media."  Specifically, how the user generated content of *What-I-Wore-Today* style blogs is broadening the definition of who is a fashion subject.  This is my master's thesis research project so I'm passionate about the material I presented. I had some major technical difficulties with my presentation and didn't get use the PowerPoint I spent hours preparing. I didn't have any visual aids or pretty pictures of other bloggers. It was just me, alone, at the front of the class. Thank goodness I liked my outfit!

In a side note, I had a bizarre experience walking to campus in this outfit. While crossing the street, a guy in a truck cut me off. I gave him a big smile as a way of saying, "No big deal. I'm not mad," and continued on my way without giving it another thought. Then suddenly there's the guy in the truck again. He'd circled the block and was keeping pace with me, smiling and sort of nodding at me. I was completely flummoxed by the situation and not sure what to do. I chose to ignore it completely. This worked actually, as he followed me for a while and then gave up (on what? I'm not sure) and turned the corner. But I was concerned for a while- did he think I looked like a prostitute? What do prostitutes look like in Davis? At 10 o'clock in the morning? Was it the boots? Or may he just thought I was someone he knew? Curious.

Introducing...the sparkly bead necklace.

Today I bring you the second installment of my 'jewelry inheritance' series. The predominantly golden brown and green colors of this five strand bead necklace aren't what I would usually be drawn to, but since it also has a subtle glint of a beautiful light turquoise-y blue I felt it would coordinate well with a lot of my wardrobe.

Wouldn't you know it?- it looks way more interesting paired with my existing wardrobe than a necklace in shades of blue or purple, which is what I would have chosen had I been offered a full assortment of colors. So, I think I've learned a valuable lesson: experiment with color, especially where accessories are concerned. Colors that have never been my favorites can enhance (and be enhanced by) those that I typically adore.

I'm still not really progressing very quickly towards my goal of having a wardrobe full of clothes that I love. I'm continuing to get rid of things that I don't like but awesome things to build up my wardrobe aren't exactly pouring in to fill up the empty wardrobe space I'm creating. The September shopping moratorium is long over but in good conscience I can't really go shopping- even at the thrift store- until I get a job. And, as always, the only things I find myself lusting after are shoes, hats, and jewelry. I need real clothes!

Man, I really do not love posting these side shots!