Monday, November 14, 2011
The fine line between ridiculous and fabulous.
I can't decide if these gumball sized sixties clip-on earrings are ridiculous or fabulous. In the past three weeks I've put them on and removed them at least twenty times. That's not counting the three or four times today. It's only sheer force of will that's keeping them on my ears now because I'm just not sure. The line between ridiculous and fabulous can be razor fine, and I'm constantly in fear of slipping to the wrong side.
I've forced myself to wear these today in keeping with the spirit of Visible Monday. Being visible- being noticed- means accepting the possibility that everyone may not like what they see. And that can be awfully tough for me to do.
You see, I think these baubles are something I'd be likely to admire on someone else. But I also think that they're something that 98% of the world would see and think- "those are some earrings you've got there, lady!" (You've got to imagine those words dripping with sarcasm.) Now, I know that the people I imagine are thinking these nasty things are probably not wearing anything I would, in a million years, want to wear, but somehow I still want these imaginary nasty people to think I look great. Why, I wonder? Why would I care what they think of me if I don't think much of them?
Since I'm pretty sure I can't have it both ways- some people are always going to find my 'fabulous' ridiculous- and since the alternative would be never trying for fabulous and just playing it safe, I think I'd rather risk looking ridiculous in the hope that the two percent of folks out there whose style I covet think I look interesting. However, this is often easier said than done. Especially now as I'm getting older. Standing out feels like inviting criticism. Catching someone's eye means opening myself up to the possibility that they'll see me and think I'm too old, or too fat, or too kooky, or just trying too hard. Ouch! Some days that possibility is more than I can handle. Other days I can manage to say- "Everyone else be damned; I'm dressing for myself." And for the two percent of super stylish folks who think I look fabulous- that's you guys, right?
I must admit that blogging certainly helps. It's not only provided me with a reason for challenging myself and a forum in which to do so, but it's given me an opportunity to see myself in a more gestalt way. Looking at these photos I realize that these earrings I've been kind of obsessing about aren't as over the top as I imagined them to be when I was looking in the mirror. Go figure.