Monday, November 14, 2011

The fine line between ridiculous and fabulous.

I can't decide if these gumball sized sixties clip-on earrings are ridiculous or fabulous. In the past three weeks I've put them on and removed them at least twenty times.  That's not counting the three or four times today. It's only sheer force of will that's keeping them on my ears now because I'm just not sure. The line between ridiculous and fabulous can be razor fine, and I'm constantly in fear of slipping to the wrong side.

I've forced myself to wear these today in keeping with the spirit of Visible Monday.  Being visible- being noticed- means accepting the possibility that everyone may not like what they see.  And that can be awfully tough for me to do.

You see, I think these baubles are something I'd be likely to admire on someone else. But I also think that they're something that 98% of the world would see and think- "those are some earrings you've got there, lady!" (You've got to imagine those words dripping with sarcasm.)  Now, I know that the people I imagine are thinking these nasty things are probably not wearing anything I would, in a million years, want to wear, but somehow I still want these imaginary nasty people to think I look great. Why, I wonder?  Why would I care what they think of me if I don't think much of them?

Since I'm pretty sure I can't have it both ways- some people are always going to find my 'fabulous' ridiculous- and since the alternative would be never trying for fabulous and just playing it safe, I think I'd rather risk looking ridiculous in the hope that the two percent of folks out there whose style I covet think I look interesting.  However, this is often easier said than done.  Especially now as I'm getting older. Standing out feels like inviting criticism.  Catching someone's eye means opening myself up to the possibility that they'll see me and think I'm too old, or too fat, or too kooky, or just trying too hard. Ouch! Some days that possibility is more than I can handle. Other days I can manage to say- "Everyone else be damned; I'm dressing for myself." And for the two percent of super stylish folks who think I look fabulous- that's you guys, right?

I must admit that blogging certainly helps.  It's not only provided me with a reason for challenging myself and a forum in which to do so, but it's given me an opportunity to see myself in a more gestalt way.  Looking at these photos I realize that these earrings I've been kind of obsessing about aren't as over the top as I imagined them to be when I was looking in the mirror. Go figure.


  1. Your earrings are not over the top at all...they're gorgeous...and what a fabulous figure you have! I'm going to ask you a really personal question and hope you won't take offense...what kind of bra are you wearing? My girls could really use some better support than what they're getting now! **eeek**

    Anyway, love your whole look!

    Cindy at Notes in the Key of Life

  2. By the way, I totally relate to your line about "standing out feels like inviting criticism." I've only participated in Visible Monday three times, and each time I think, "Am I making myself look ridiculous? Do I look like I'm trying too hard?" It's so hard to imagine how other people view you!

    But the alternative is GIVING UP...and I just can't do that!

  3. Not ridiculous at all! Totally fabulous, worn with confidence and a beautiful smile. I love what you write about being afraid to invite criticism. Most of us over-40's are feeling some of that, I'd wager. But here we are, showing our stylish selves and supporting each other! Thanks for participating in Visible Monday.

  4. I think you look fabulous and your earrings are great and not over the top at all. Love your boots and belt with that outfit. i can't get caught up with what people think because people talk about you no matter what.

  5. I felt the same way. blogging has helped me be more confident in my age and my style.
    I have several of those earrings, but never wear them......hummmm! Thinking about it now.
    Nice to meet you!

  6. If you like them, wear them! Who care what others think if they make you happy...........!

  7. My apologies to all of you wonderful commenters for my delay in responding- busy day, zero blog time, hate when that happens.

    Absolutely no offense taken. It's the Fantasie Smoothing Underwire Balconette. It's my favorite everyday bra. Not pretty, but practical. It's not as low cut as the balconette part of the name might lead you to believe- just a bit more abbreviated than full coverage, so it works well with a lot of necklines. The cup is thin, which I like because I can't abide molded cups but there can be *headlight* issues, if you get my meaning. Otherwise, I absolutely swear by this bra. Great shape, nice support, very comfortable, and they last a good long time without loosing their ooomph. I wash mine with my regular laundry, in a lingerie bag, and hang them to dry and they hold up really, really well.

    Thanks for the vote of confidence! I can't say enough how grateful I am that you've provided this forum for us to meet and share. I'm honored to participate!

    You're right of course. I try HARD not to worry but it is a constant struggle. I'm hoping to begin to struggle less and flaunt more. Thanks for the compliment!

    I'll be hoping to see your earrings soon! No pressure, but I'd love to see the outfit you'd build around them.

    Ay, there's the rub! Because, you see, I care a lot about what others think. It's part of the reason I began this blog- so I could try things out and get feedback from others. And I'm not sure about the earrings. I'd be better off with a little more of the *critics be damned* attitude you have perhaps, but I don't know if I could ever get to the point of really not caring what other people think. I don't know if I have it in me.

  8. Sorry I'm way late in reading this, but - those earrings at INCREDIBLE. Love 'em. And, I think your assessment that 98% of people are hating on your outfits is probably way, waaaaay off!