Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Getting back on that horse.

I'm tempted to try to excuse my absence from the blog as being the consequence of a hectic holiday but, although the days leading up to Thanksgiving were full, I did not get out of my pajamas, or off the couch, on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. And I loved every minute of it- so I'm not apologizing for that. What I am sorry for is letting a nasty bout of self doubt keep me from posting on Monday and Tuesday. I've been feeling fat, old, frumpy, lumpy, unfashionable, icky, yucky, boring and stupid. It's not much fun. And it makes getting dressed next to impossible. I'm determined to push through this funk. I'm getting back on that horse that threw me and getting back in the race.

I've been looking at my wardrobe with an eye to having an end of year 'progress report' post that sums up how well I've done sticking to my New Year's resolution of getting rid of one thing every day and five things for every new thing. I'm pretty happy with how my edited wardrobe is starting to shape up. While I'm nowhere near achieving my goal of having only exceptional pieces, I can at least say that everything in my closet fits me and I feel good (if not great) wearing what I have hanging in there. This may not sound like a raging success to most people but, when you consider that before I began this editing process, dealing with my wardrobe was like an exercise in self torture, just being able to get dressed in the morning without feeling as if my clothes are mocking me for not being as slim, as young, and as daring as I once was really feels like a major victory to me. It's also the first time ever that I've even come close to keeping a resolution all year.

Truth be told, I am a bit behind in my discarding of items, but I got all the way to November before the process become really difficult. And up until around August it was so effortless that it was a little embarrassing how easy it was to part with the crap I had been holding onto for years without even a second thought. Why had I held onto things that were so obviously crap for so long? Why had I ever even thought I wanted them in the first place?

By the end of the year my goal is to have worn every item from my current wardrobe here on the blog. If I can't make an outfit I'm happy with out of a piece that's hanging in my wardrobe now, then it doesn't need to be there. The jacket I'm wearing today is one of the pieces I don't think I've taken pictures of before.

There's a lot going on with this jacket- polka dots, border print, puffed sleeves, portrait neckline and a bow- therefore I think it would be worn to it's best advantage over a solid black base. I went with grey tights and skirt today because I don't own a straight black skirt. (I know, this seems crazy to me too, but it's true. I'm adding it to my list of things I need.) This jacket is another piece of clothing that I think looks great from the front and only so-so from the side. From the front it seems to flatter my curves and trim my waist, but from the side I appear disturbingly barrel chested and matronly.  I've made it a point to always try to post a side view photo of an outfit, even in cases where doing so has been acutely painful, because I want to get (and give) a fairly honest impression of what I look like in the real, multidimensional, world. I was kind of hoping that the reason I thought I looked terrible from the side was just that I was unused to seeing myself from that angle, and when I became more comfortable with seeing myself this way it wouldn't look as awful to me. No such luck.

I'm not sure what the remedy might be. Better fitting clothes? Better posture? Losing weight? All of the above?  I'm sure none of these improvements would hurt my front view either.

I haven't worn these shoes in a while so I pulled them out today as part of my effort to feature all my current clothes on the blog by the end of the year. Once I started walking around in them I remembered why they had fallen out of my favor in the first place. The sole has become detached from the toe of one of the shoes. Not a lot. Not enough that you notice when you put the shoes on. It's just when you start to walk at a reasonable clip (i.e. when you really need to get somewhere without being impeded by the flapping sole of your shoe) that it becomes noticeable.  They will need to be repaired before going back into the closet.  Which brings me to what is going to be one of my resolutions for next year: I am going to resolve to take care of (at least) one repair, alteration, fix, upgrade, up-cycle, re-style, re-fashion, what have you, every week.  Those pants I've been meaning to hem, that coat that wants the buttons replaced, the shoulder straps I've been wanting to shorten, the skirt that needs to be taken in, the shoes that should be resoled- it's all going to get done, finally. Next year.

Or I might get inspired and start early.

No comments:

Post a Comment